Buying Tack: Staying Safe when Meeting for Purchases

I know you want that saddle only two hours away...perfect excuse for an iced coffee and a road trip!

I know you want to sell that horse blanket locally because it's such a pain to ship.

I know you found a killlllllller deal on that tack set that is like new.

I know, I know, I know.

But I also know how dangerous it can be to meet people you don't know.

Mostly I know how dangerous it is because I grew up in the era of the dangerous combination of: Craigslist, no cell phones, and 20/20 Dateline with Barbara Walters.

I should also note I am married to a United States Marine who thinks through every possible dangerous scenario in the history of scenarios. And likes to plant these scenarios in my head.

Also did I mention that I am a walking encyclopedia of serial killer history?

Just saying.

And although most of my sales (over 85%) are online, I do occasionally make a local sale. Most of these local sales are with new clients I have never met. Which means I take precautions very seriously when I am meeting someone in person on my own.

In this post, you'll read about some tips I have picked up from professionals (and my husband) to make sure I stay safe in any meet-up situation.

Facebook Stalking is not Just for Exes

Come on - admit it.

You have worked on your Facebook stalking skills at least once in your life: that old co-worker, an ex, or maybe a best friend who did you wrong.

Maybe you had someone judge you for that in the past, but I am here to say: DO IT!

Social media tells us so much about a person. Even though there are those Catfish stories, most of the time we can get a really good picture of who someone is on Facebook.

Before I meet anyone in person, I always do a Facebook or Google Search on them (I prefer Facebook, less variation in results).

Here are some of the steps I take to make sure who I am meeting is who they say they are:

- Type their name in the search bar and click through the tabs titled "all," "posts," and "groups." These are the most comprehensive searches and will show information that may not be on their profile. In general it shows me that they are an actual member of the community and makes them "legit." If there are no posts or their posts seem to be out of context, then my cackles go up.

- Check out their friends on their profile. How many do they have? Do they have any interaction with their friends (likes, comments)? Any mutual friends? A small number (100 or less) is a warning sign. No interaction at all with their friends is a red flag.

- Review their photos. Some people have incredibly private Facebook accounts (and that's ok!), but make sure they have a photo of their face in some way. I usually hesitate when I see photos of objects only like flowers, flags, or quotes. Plus, it's always nice when you can confirm they have horses!

Remember: I am not judging people from their social media for the sake of judging them - I am trying to assess if they are who I believe them to be for safety.

"CanIgetyonumber?"

Nope.

No you may certainly not.

I never. Ever. Ever. Ever. Give my number out to anyone that I do not personally know or have not met multiple times with good experiences.

You may be laughing.

Or scoffing.

Or smirking.

Because if someone really wanted my number they could pay for $14 fee online to find it.

But at least I know I didn't consent to that.

A phone number is a very private thing and can easily turn into a strategy for harassment or tracking.

Not giving a phone number also sets a clear boundary that says: I'm not yet comfortable with you.

And that's OK.

Instead, I stick to these forms of conversation until I have established a relationship with the client:

- Messaging Apps: Most apps can block or delete messages, automatically manage spam or responses based on your settings, record and store previous conversations, and provide an immediate contact much like a text message.

- Online Snail Mail: Email is still a major form of communication and is a great way to maintain privacy while still being notified of interest.

- Social Media: Public forms of communication provide a trail of conversation visible to others and feels less intrusive. Feel free to keep initial conversations on public postings and then move to a private message when you feel comfortable.

It's important that you let the conversation become as private or public as you want when you're ready. Do not let a buyer push you into a form of communication you aren't comfortable with. If this happens, I like to say:

"The best way to reach me is...(Facebook, WhatsApp, Messenger, etc.)"

"I respond quickest to..."

"I prefer to use....to communicate."

Any and all of these are OK for you to use, at any time.

Location, Location, Location

We know location is important in business and real estate.

But it's equally as important for safety.

I am very particular about where and when I meet people and people never come to my house.

First, I keep my consignment clients’ tack on site at my home. I believe it is a breach of their privacy if someone comes over and knows where I (securely) keep their items consigned with me.

Next, I like to set boundaries with my home because it's our home. It is not OK with me to have strangers on my property getting a feel for the layout or potentially feeling that they can stop by unannounced in the future.

Instead, I have a list of go-to meeting spots that are very public. Some of these include:

- Parking lots of major big-box stores with a lot of traffic in and out

- Gas stations close to the freeway

- Fairgrounds or arenas while they are having events (game shows, horse shows)

- Police station (you can always meet someone at a police station parking lot)

My next rule of thumb when meeting someone in a public place is to make sure I tell someone where I am going, who I am meeting, and at what time. I usually text my husband with this message:

"Hi! I'm going to meet (name of person) at (time). It will take no more than (amount of time). If you don't hear back from me by (time), call me!"

And then I also send him the address or the map pin.

It doesn't matter who you tell: grandma, best friend, mom/dad, a fellow equestrian, or even ME (you can always message A-List Tack on Facebook any time you are meeting someone).

What's important is that someone, somewhere knows who you met and where just in case.

We never hope for the "just in case."

But then again, we never know.

Other Tips from a USMC and MFM

Sometimes my husband has been with me when I've met people, and sometimes I have been totally, completely, 100% clueless about my actions.

Sometimes I listen to My Favorite Murder, a podcast about, well, murders, and I think "Wow....I could have died." And I'm not exaggerating.

Here's a random list of tips my husband and my favorite murder podcast has encouraged me to practice when meeting people:

- Keep your phone and keys on you, do not leave it in the car

- Carry protection to the extent you feel comfortable and can legally carry, perhaps pepper spray.

- Ask for a description of their vehicle before you meet

- Park facing outward: back-in to a space or park so you have a view of who is entering/leaving

- Look for a photo of them beforehand so you can verify what they look like in person

- If you walk far from your car: check both sides, hit the unlock button so it lights up the inside of the car before you get in, and do not leave your car unlocked

- It's OK for someone to hear you lock the doors. Lock them.

- It's OK for you to go in a store and ask an employee to keep an eye on you

- Always keep a flashlight in your car along with a jacket, first-aid, and it's helpful to wear shoes you could potentially run in.

These might seem really intense and over-kill if you just want to buy a $20 noseband, but I'm here to remind you that your safety is important.

You Matter More than Tack

Your safety is far and above the most important thing.

We know that headstall is super shiny.

We know that is the EXACT bit you have been looking for FOREVER.

We know you don't want to pay shipping on a saddle.

We know.

But we also know that meeting can be safe or it can be unsafe.

We never want you to sacrifice safety for horse tack.

Even though it IS a really really really good deal.

If you have a great safety tip, or you need our help being safe while meeting to buy or sell tack, we're here for you.

Stay Safe,

Katie

Zipper, Rico, and Nimble